Melville: Good news!  I have collected all of my clothes, except my cummerbund.
Aloysius: If I recall, you were wearing a vest.  Vests do not go with cummerbunds.

Melville: Good call!  Thus ends The Quest for the Missing Cummerbund!  What article will be next in our series of misbegotten clothing?

 Aloysius: I wish you were joking about needing to catalog your missing garments.  But when you do it often enough, I suppose it only makes sense to start c---
Melville: HELP!

Melville: I've lost all of my left socks!  The ones in the drawer only fit my right foot!
Published On: January 5, 2012

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